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Affair-Proof Your Marriage: 7 Practical Tips to Keep You from Having an Affair

Written by: Ruth Esumeh

Being faithful and committed to our spouses includes taking steps to ensure that we are not swayed away by the temptations of another woman or man. It requires discipline, self-control and setting boundaries. 

However, in today’s article, my focus is on the Men.

Studies reveal that up to 40% of married couples are affected by infidelity. Another study says “Men are more likely to have affairs than women and this could be linked to the submission that men express their love in a more physical way — they often don’t have the perfect “feeling words” for their wives. So sex is a major path to connection and intimacy for them which is why I encourage every man and his wife to read my book, Have Sex & Pray!

In this article, we’ll be exploring some practical tips to keep you from having an affair as a man.

7 Practical Tips to Keep You from Having an Affair as a Man

1. Talk About Your Wife

Start bragging about your wife. When you brag about your wife to a lady you are getting uncomfortable with, it sets your mind back home.

As a man, when you talk about your wife, you are actively flaunting her and reminding yourself of the value you have.

Constantly talk about how lovely your partner is, her hobbies, and how much you love her. If you’re in a position to have an affair, this conversation can immediately kill the mood.

2. Pray for Yourself and Your Wife

Prayer is such a powerful weapon that helps us subject our flesh. Pray in the spirit.

You pray about what you want and who you love. When you take time to pray for your wife, you’re solidifying the bond that you share with her.

Also, pray for yourself. As a man, you are naturally weak in the flesh. With prayers, you are building up moral strength to sustain your faithfulness.

Finally, as couples, pray together. Praying together as a couple helps improve and strengthen the intimacy you share.

3. Find a Hobby

Channel that emotion into something you enjoy doing alone. Watch a movie. Play a sport. Play a game. Work on a project.

A popular maxim goes, “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.”

As a man, outside of your work schedule, what do you do with your free time?

As opposed to flirting and texting outside your relationship, you can channel that energy into doing something you love alone.

What hobbies pique your interest? 

For example, it is not rare to see men hitting the gym or participating in an energy-tasking sport.

The key thing is to not be idle during your free time. Find something that gives you purpose and spend time doing it

4. Talk to a Happy Couple

Be accountable to someone. Speak to a happy couple friend that you can confide in. They will help you realize that a moment of pleasure will not make you satisfied, it’s only temporary. They can help you see the beauty in your marriage again.

If you’re having issues in your relationship and find it difficult to address it with your partner, the next solution isn’t to look for options outside your partner.

Find a happy couple that you trust and relate your concerns to them. A problem shared is half solved. Just talking to them will help you a great deal. 

You can also explore speaking to a counselor individually, I have seen men in my individual counseling sessions who are able to explore their feelings, thoughts and emotions and I am able to help them redirect it appropriately and provide helpful tools for them.

Affairs outside your relationship will only bring temporary pleasure. The effect on your relationship can be devastating for something temporary.

5. Don’t Go Out There!

Avoid places where you can be alone. Don’t go to that party when they invite you. If they’re in your office, for instance, don’t go having lunch together.

Fun fact – It is impossible to have an affair in the open.

There are places that, as a married man, you shouldn’t be found going to. These places create an environment that fosters behaviours that do not strengthen the bond in your relationship.

Rather than put yourself out there to be tempted, spend time with your partner. Go to an environment that allows for intimacy in your relationship. These include parks, resorts, churches and social events.

When you’re out with your partner, the tendency to have an affair will reduce drastically.

6. Nurture Safe Friendships

Adult men go through peer pressure too. If you want to keep yourself from an affair, stop keeping and hanging around friends who are not faithful to their spouses.

“Show me your friends and I’ll show you who you are.”

The company you keep has a great influence on how you behave. If you keep a circle that gloats about how they have options outside of their relationship, there is a high chance you’ll feel pressured to do the same.

Keep friends who challenge you to do what is right. Do not underestimate the influence of friendships. With faithful friends, you can draw insights on how to be faithful to your partner.

7. Work on Your Marriage

Most times, people get into an affair when their relationship is in a challenging phase. When you are being tempted by another woman, it’s the best time to work on your relationship. 

It is normal for challenges to arise in your marriage. If you’re able to work it out, challenges can improve the quality of your bond with your partner.

However, when you start seeking comfort outside your partner, you are igniting the fire that can burn your marriage. Talk about your issues and find a resolution with your partner.

Effective communication is key here. If you’re finding it difficult to address the underlying issue, seek out professional help from a marriage counselor.

Wrapping Up

If you have found yourself in an affair, there’s always a second chance to make amends. You will have to win the trust of your partner back and these practical steps are a foundation to start with.

With counseling or marriage therapy, you can identify extra steps you need to take to remain faithful in your marriage. Start today and click this link to see how you can get help

Picture of Ruth Esumeh

Ruth Esumeh

Ruth Esumeh is the founder of Ruth’s Marriage, a marriage counseling and relationship coaching company. She is a Certified Marriage Counselor and Therapist helping couples enjoy marriage, God’s way! Follow Ruth on all social media platforms.

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Confidentiality Policy

1. Introduction

At Ruth’s Marriage, we are committed to providing a safe and confidential environment for our clients. This confidentiality policy outlines how we handle your personal information and the limits to confidentiality that may apply during the course of marriage counseling sessions.

2. Confidentiality Assurance

2.1 Client-Counselor Privilege: All information shared during marriage counseling sessions is confidential. This means that your counselor will not disclose any information without your explicit written consent, except as required by law or ethical standards (see section 3).

2.3 Protection of Records: Client records, including session notes, assessments, and any other documentation, will be securely stored and only accessible to authorized personnel as outlined in section 4.

3. Limits to Confidentiality

3.1 Domestic Abuse or Physical Abuse: If there is reasonable report of
physical abuse, we are legally obligated to inform the victim to report this to the appropriate authorities.

3.2 Threats of Harm: If you pose a serious threat of harm to yourself or others, we may need to take steps to ensure safety, which may include disclosing relevant information to appropriate parties, such as law enforcement or medical professionals.

3.3 Court Orders: If a court orders the release of your counseling records, we may be required to comply with such an order.

3.4 Supervision and Consultation: Your counselor may consult with other mental health professionals for supervision and training purposes. In such cases, your identity will be kept confidential.

4. Access to Client Information

4.1 Authorized Personnel: Only authorized personnel, including your
counselor, and administrative staff, of Ruth’s Marriage will have access
to your information.

4.2 Security Measures: We take all reasonable measures to protect your
personal information, both in paper and electronic formats, from unauthorized access, disclosure, or alteration.

5. Client Consent

Before any disclosure beyond the limits outlined in this policy is made, we will seek your explicit written consent, explaining the purpose and recipients of the information to be disclosed.

6. Record Retention

Client records will be retained for a period determined by applicable laws and ethical standards. After the retention period expires, records will be securely destroyed.

7. Questions and Concerns

If you have any questions or concerns about our confidentiality policy, please feel free to discuss them with your counselor or write us at ruthsmarriage:gmail.com

8. Policy Updates

We may update this confidentiality policy from time to time to reflect changes in laws, regulations, or our counseling practices. You will be notified of any significant changes.

Cancellation Policy

$50 fee (converted to your currency rate at the point of payment)
CANCELLATIONS AND MISSED APPOINTMENTS

The client is expected to arrive on time for each booked session. A cancelled or postponed appointment slows down our work and might have a negative influence on other clients. Because your appointments include the reserve of time expressly for you, and out of mutual respect for each other and our other clients, postponing or cancelling an appointment requires a minimum of 24 hours’ notice in advance.

WHEN THE NO-SHOW/LATE CANCEL FEE IS WAIVED

This means if your appointment is supposed to be 9am on Wednesday and you wish to cancel, we expect to have received your email by 9am on Tuesday, then we can waive the cancellation fee. If we receive your cancellation later than that, then you will be charged the cancellation fee to have another appointment. Note that if your appointment is on a Monday, the cancellation needs to be provided no later than the prior Friday, by your appointment time, to be considered proper 24-hour notice.

If you can, we would appreciate more than 24-hour notice so that we can make that time available to other clients.

As a result, if you find out before the mandatory 24-hour notice that you will be unable to attend our session, please send an email so that we can fill your slot and place another client in your space who may require it. Counseling appointments are designated exclusively for our clients and are booked in advance. We are unable to cover this time slot by providing it to another client when a session is canceled without adequate notice. The email to send a cancellation notification to is ruthsmarriage@gmail.com

WHEN THE NO-SHOW/LATE CANCEL FEE IS WAIVED

This cancellation policy is only waived in the event of a serious sickness or emergency. Car accidents, family deaths, and severe illness are all examples of emergencies. In this case, if you are not physically able to cancel your appointment, you can get someone to write us an email on your behalf. Our cancellation policy applies even if the missed appointment was unintended. Work-related issues are not emergencies.

Late Cancellation Fees Process: Any session missed due to a cancellation less than 24 hours in advance will be assessed at $50/standard fee. You will be charged even if the cancellation was due to work or if you rescheduled the appointment without adequate notice. We will send you a payment link immediately to pay the cancellation fee before you can have another appointment or continue your sessions.

WAIT TIME GRACE PERIOD

Your wait time is kept to a minimum. Due to the length of time provided for each appointment, it is critical that you arrive on time for your appointments. If you are more than 10 minutes late to your appointment, we will have no choice but to reschedule your appointment and you will be responsible for the $50 fee of a no show. To avoid paying no show fees, we require at least twenty-four (24) hours’ notice for all cancellations (as described above). Both counselor and client have a grace period of 10 minutes.

RECURRING SESSIONS: CANCELLATION FEE PAYMENT ENFORCEMENT

For recurring therapy/counselling sessions, when you miss a session without adequate notice, you will pay the cancellation fee of $50 for that session, before another session. The same standard above applies for each session.

Ruth’s Marriage Counselling Services sends automated email reminders of forthcoming appointments as a courtesy. Whether or not you receive the text or email reminder, it is your sole duty to keep track of and attend any planned appointments/sessions on time. If your phone number or email address changes, please notify us via email.

We appreciate your understanding and our policy is hinged on the fact that a late cancel or no-show hurts at least three people: you, the counsellor, and another client who could have potentially utilized your time slot

THANK YOU

We value you and are committed to your journey, however, we can only accomplish this with your understanding of the obligations set forth in this policy. Time is of the essence in our practice and we encourage good use of time to accommodate more clients who need help. Thank you

Making a booking means you have accepted the terms guiding our Cancellation Policy.

I agree to the Confidentiality Policy and Cancellation Policy.