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Become a Better Husband: Doing These 4 Things Will Frustrate Your Wife

Written by: Ruth Esumeh
Things Will Frustrate Your Wife

Dear husbands, today’s piece is for you!

Before you fret, this is not to judge or criticise you. On the contrary, if you are looking to become a better husband to your wife, you should definitely read this article to the end. 

Being a husband is a huge responsibility and a rewarding one because you get to reap the benefits of the seeds you sow. When you treat your wife with love, she in turn gives love back. It is easier to have a great wife when you are a great husband.

What if I told you that there are things you do as a husband that can frustrate your wife? If you are going to become a better husband, it’s important to know what these things are and how they can negatively impact on your wife and your marriage.

These Things Will Frustrate Your Wife

Are you curious to find out what these things are? Here, they are:

1. Ignoring Your Wife’s Bid for Affection

Picture this – Your wife asks for a hug, and you turn her down. She wants to watch a movie with you, but you always ignore her and go hang out with friends. She wants to cuddle; you don’t want to cuddle. She sends a nice message – you don’t respond.

Rejecting or always turning down your wife’s bid for connection will eventually make her disconnect with you because she feels unwanted. When your wife feels rejected, she’s unable to fully give her full support and love in the marriage. This in turn hurts your marriage

So for instance, your wife sends a text in the day and says “Hey honey, I miss you” Don’t just read the text and move on with your day; respond back and say “I miss you too”. What you have done is that you have responded to her bid for connection and this makes her feel cherished and emotionally connected with you. That is good for your marriage!

2. Being “Touchy” Only When it’s Time for Sex

Show desire for her when it’s not sex time. Be a friend in the day not a stranger that she has to sleep with at night. Connect with her physically and mentally without it being sexual.

Intimacy for a woman begins in the day, not on the bed. It starts from showing affection without expecting sex. As a husband, you can show physical affection to your wife by hugging her, random kisses, touch her shoulder, massage her back, hold her hand, give her a butt spank…all these communicate to your wife that she’s desirable and loved which helps her to feel more connected to you.

Plan non-sexual outings like going for walks, hikes, and bike rides together. These activities create a feeling of bond between couples. If you’re finding it difficult to bond with your wife, get my 60 Intimate Fun Games and Bonding Activities for Couples for more ideas to bond with your wife. 

The more non-sexual affection you give, the likelihood she will be very happy and interested to be sexually intimate with you. Women connect emotionally before they connect sexually. 

3. Being a Passive Husband

Women want to be led with vision. Lead your home in love and with the shared vision you both have. Be proactive and not leave all the decision-making to her. Initiate conversations that need to be had and don’t be afraid of difficult conversations. Say no if you know something is not right for the family and communicate.

As a husband, it is your role to lead the family. What kind of atmosphere do you want in your home? What are the core values of your family?

It is your responsibility as a man to create an environment in your home where everyone, including your children, understands what you want your home life to be like. Your wife is there to help you but she needs a vision to work with. Give her that vision and see how she will run with it.

Discuss your hopes and dreams of the future with your wife, individually and as a family.

Do not leave all the decision-making to your wife. Be proactive in taking decisions and communicating them with your wife. Listen to her perspective and agree together.

This creates a sense of partnership and collaboration between you and your wife

4. Not Pursuing Her 

The reason why she said “yes” to you was because you pursued her and made her feel loved. Pursuing her means to come up with little innovative ways of expressing love.

During the initial stage of relationship when you had not yet proposed, you had subtle ways of courting your wife. That little rose you bought on your way from work was making a statement.

Now that she’s your wife, you stopped doing those lovey-dovey acts because you’re now used to each other.

The spark that ignited your relationship came from those initial efforts to win her over. You must continue to do those things you initially did to woo her.

Plan a surprise date night with a unique theme. Hide little love notes with clues around the house, in her purse or in the car. Recreate your first date outing, even if it’s just a walk around the community.

What does your wife find interesting? Surprise her with such and watch her scream in joy. Play fun games with her and watch her anticipate your presence every time you step out. It doesn’t cost much to make your wife feel loved. It just requires your thoughtfulness.

Wrapping It Up

Dear husbands, it is easier to have a great wife when you are a great husband. If you are guilty of any of these, it is never too late to put in the work and start over.

I know some of you have good intentions but just don’t know what to do, how to communicate or even prioritize due to work schedules and all. I have a more elaborate resource that can help you The 30-Day Couples Reconnecting Challenge!

Click this link to join the challenge. It starts June 1st.

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Ruth Esumeh

Ruth Esumeh is the founder of Ruth’s Marriage, a marriage counseling and relationship coaching company. She is a Certified Marriage Counselor and Therapist helping couples enjoy marriage, God’s way! Follow Ruth on all social media platforms.

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At Ruth’s Marriage, we are committed to providing a safe and confidential environment for our clients. This confidentiality policy outlines how we handle your personal information and the limits to confidentiality that may apply during the course of marriage counseling sessions.

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$50 fee (converted to your currency rate at the point of payment)
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The client is expected to arrive on time for each booked session. A cancelled or postponed appointment slows down our work and might have a negative influence on other clients. Because your appointments include the reserve of time expressly for you, and out of mutual respect for each other and our other clients, postponing or cancelling an appointment requires a minimum of 24 hours’ notice in advance.

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This means if your appointment is supposed to be 9am on Wednesday and you wish to cancel, we expect to have received your email by 9am on Tuesday, then we can waive the cancellation fee. If we receive your cancellation later than that, then you will be charged the cancellation fee to have another appointment. Note that if your appointment is on a Monday, the cancellation needs to be provided no later than the prior Friday, by your appointment time, to be considered proper 24-hour notice.

If you can, we would appreciate more than 24-hour notice so that we can make that time available to other clients.

As a result, if you find out before the mandatory 24-hour notice that you will be unable to attend our session, please send an email so that we can fill your slot and place another client in your space who may require it. Counseling appointments are designated exclusively for our clients and are booked in advance. We are unable to cover this time slot by providing it to another client when a session is canceled without adequate notice. The email to send a cancellation notification to is ruthsmarriage@gmail.com

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This cancellation policy is only waived in the event of a serious sickness or emergency. Car accidents, family deaths, and severe illness are all examples of emergencies. In this case, if you are not physically able to cancel your appointment, you can get someone to write us an email on your behalf. Our cancellation policy applies even if the missed appointment was unintended. Work-related issues are not emergencies.

Late Cancellation Fees Process: Any session missed due to a cancellation less than 24 hours in advance will be assessed at $50/standard fee. You will be charged even if the cancellation was due to work or if you rescheduled the appointment without adequate notice. We will send you a payment link immediately to pay the cancellation fee before you can have another appointment or continue your sessions.

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For recurring therapy/counselling sessions, when you miss a session without adequate notice, you will pay the cancellation fee of $50 for that session, before another session. The same standard above applies for each session.

Ruth’s Marriage Counselling Services sends automated email reminders of forthcoming appointments as a courtesy. Whether or not you receive the text or email reminder, it is your sole duty to keep track of and attend any planned appointments/sessions on time. If your phone number or email address changes, please notify us via email.

We appreciate your understanding and our policy is hinged on the fact that a late cancel or no-show hurts at least three people: you, the counsellor, and another client who could have potentially utilized your time slot

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