Financial issues have been reported to be one of the leading causes for recurring conflicts in many marriages or even leading to divorce. As a marriage counselor, I have worked with many couples whose marriages are at the verge of breaking down due to financial problems. However, your marriage does not have to fall apart because of finances if you have the right principles regarding managing money as a couple.
My husband and I were able to overcome money fights very early in our marriage. I mean we had our own share of financial problems in the early years and this was mostly related to the fact that we are from two different backgrounds; which is the case for most couples.
This is why in handling finances in marriage, couples must work together. Often financial goals are an extension of money orientations and should be considered together. The partner who is oriented to saving and security is more apt to have financial goals around savings than the partner whose money orientation is centered around enjoyment. Create, discuss, and share financial goals together. Let’s look at 4 money management tips that will help you overcome financial problems in marriage
4 Money Management Tips for Couples
1. Create a Budget Together
11 years ago, I was the wife who was not very comfortable with budgeting; we were in the early years of our marriage and I remember one day my husband said to me after I had gone shopping, he asked “What’s your budget?” I replied I don’t have a budget. I know what I want to buy. This was the beginning of us realizing that we had different approaches to managing finances. I did not think budgeting was necessary. I would argue that I knew what I was spending and I did not need to write it down or put a structure to it. My husband believed what you do not write or put a structure to, you can’t manage well. This difference in view led to a lot of arguments and conflicts about finances in our marriage
Eventually, he was able to convince me and I could see how budgeting made us more financially accountable and productive. Now, I am teaching couples the need to budget to reduce their financial stress and increase financial security
Budgeting is the process of allocating expenses on a regular basis. Budgeting puts you in control of your spending—a process that can be very empowering in a culture where we are constantly enticed to spend money. One good way to create a budget is to keep track of everything you spend money on for 1-3 months, and then average your expenditures per category. Budgeting is an essential tool for managing your finances and achieving your financial goals. By keeping track of your expenses and creating a budget, you can take control of your finances and make informed decisions about your money.
To make it more effective, write your budget down and store it in a safe place. Writing your budget gives you accountability and helps to maintain the spending limits you have agreed to set for yourselves. If you don’t write it down, you will be unlikely to stick to the budget you have both agreed to.
2. Maximize your Strengths
The partner who is more financially intelligent should ideally be the one championing the finances. This is because they have strength in this area and would make better financial decisions. They should carry the other partner along in their decisions but should be allowed to take ownership. However, it’s also important to remember that both partners should be involved in the decision-making process.
The partner who is more financially intelligent should carry the other partner along in their decisions and provide explanations where needed. This would help both partners understand the financial situation and work together towards achieving their financial goals.
I recommend that couples have financial meetings to discuss the state of their family finances, just like organizations have financial meetings. This meeting will help you re-evaluate your financial goals and help you make adjustments when needed. The spouse who is more financially intelligent will have the opportunity to also educate the other spouse while they make joint decisions regarding their finances.
3. Use Money to buy Assets, Not Expenses
One of the most important financial lessons to learn is the difference between assets and expenses. A car is an expense. Real estate is an asset. Stock is an asset. A Gucci bag is an expense. If you want to achieve financial freedom, focus on investing in assets more than expenses. Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t treat yourself to something nice every once in a while, but it’s important to prioritize your financial goals and make smart decisions with your money. Let your money work for you, and you’ll be on your way to building wealth and achieving financial independence sooner than you think.
4. Give, Give and Give
One of the most beautiful aspects of life is the joy of giving. The act of giving is rooted in the biblical principle of sowing and reaping, which states that the more you sow, the more you will reap. Giving generously not only blesses the recipient, but it also blesses the giver. Always remember to allocate a budget to give to the needy, give to the Lord, and give offerings. As we cultivate a habit of giving, we will begin to see the fruits of our labor. The more we give, the more we will receive in good measure.
This does not mean that we should give with the expectation of receiving something in return, but rather, we should give out of a heart of generosity and compassion. When we give freely and generously, we will find that our lives are enriched in countless ways. So, let us always remember to give and give generously. Let us sow seeds of kindness, generosity, and love, and watch as they grow and flourish in our lives and the lives of those around us.
In conclusion, managing finances can be a challenging aspect of any marriage. However, by creating a budget, maximizing each other’s strengths, investing in assets, and cultivating a habit of giving, couples can work together toward achieving their financial goals. The key is to communicate openly and honestly about money matters and to be willing to make compromises and adjustments along the way. By doing so couples can reduce finacial stress and increase financial bliss in their marriage.
One Response
Finances very big issue especially when they involve extended family members, i know of someone who gives to help family members and would end up borrowing from his gf to pay rent or transport to work. What should this gf do?