Marriage can become very monotonous as we stay longer in it. It is easy to lose the spark and connection we shared in the beginning and fall into a routine of just keeping up. You may even start to feel like you are losing all the steam you had in the beginning for your partner.
You see, having a happy and healthy marriage is possible. I won’t tell you this if I wasn’t a living example myself. Just before my husband and I got to this level of connection, we had our own issues and moments of disconnection.
Ours was shortly after we got married and I almost felt like quitting. The turning point began when we began to put these things, I’m about to show you into practice. It took time and a bit of edge sharpening here and there and look at the beauty we have become.
Before you give up on your marriage, read through and apply these 4 marriage tips that can make a big difference.
1. Spending Quality Time Together
Anything that would last for a long time would require we put in some intentional time into it.
As couples, it is important to spend quality time together if you are going to have a close relationship. The keyword here is quality. Quality indicates time where we are focused on actions that fuel our relationship and make each other feel prioritized.
Time doesn’t have to be the whole 24hours, it could be as simple as checking in on each other while going about the days activities.
The common misconception is that when we say check-in, you are probably thinking of a long conversation or continuous texting.
A check-in does not have to be a long conversation. A quick “How’re you doing?” during break or “Thinking of you, is everything alright?” text message can go a long way.
If you know a specific project or challenge they are facing, show interest by asking how it’s going and if there’s anything they’ll need.
If you do not create time for your marriage, you will soon start to drift apart.
2. Physical Touch
Touch every day even if you can’t have sex every day. Hugs, shoulder rubs, kisses, any form of touch. Touch releases dopamine, known as the feel-good hormone.
Touching each other releases dopamine which is also called the feel-good hormone This simple action can improve your partner’s mood for the rest of the day.
Touching your partner does not have to be all sexual. Non-sexual touch can strengthen the bond between couples because it communicates affection, care and emotional support.
Imagine this – you’re in the living room watching a movie and your partner walks by, kisses you on your forehead and walks back to the room. Now tell me, did you just smile or not?
Now imagine if this wasn’t an imagination.
A simple high five, a back rub while watching TV or simply holding hands can be an incredible way to communicate the level of intimacy you feel with your partner. This simple tip will make a huge positive difference in your marriage.
3. Praying Together
Prayer is speaking to God and can be done anywhere; in the car, on the job. Speak to God every day to help you love yourself and give your spouse love.
I have said it before – Couples who pray together, stay stronger together.
Here’s how prayer works in your marriage. When you pray, you are expressing your vulnerabilities and anxieties to God. You admit and acknowledge that he’s the only means to overcoming the challenges you face.
When you pray together with your partner, you are both laying doing your vulnerabilities before God, together. This is the foundation that strengthens your love.
You see, you cannot love someone if you do not love yourself. You cannot pour from an empty cup. Take time to pray for God’s love to radiate to you and through you, so you can in return, love your partner as they should.
In addition, praying for your spouse can help you build empathy and compassion. As you pray for their wellbeing, you present their challenges before God and what you’d like to see different in their lives. Those emotions you find difficult to express verbally can be poured out while praying.
Prayers do not have to be lengthy or complicated. A few heartfelt words expressed in the car, during a walk or before bed can be incredibly meaningful and helpful for your marriage
4. Forgiveness
Minor offences will always happen in marriage. You might step on each other toes or say a careless word that hurts. Forgive minor offences as many times in a day.
Minor offences are inevitable in every marriage. If you are solving puzzle pieces, you would realise that occasionally you bump pieces together but that doesn’t stop you from fixing them.
The key to a happy and healthy marriage is building an attitude of forgiveness where you can move past the little issues.
Now, forgiveness doesn’t mean you have to condone your partner’s negative behaviours or pretend issues do not exist. Instead, rather than allowing resentment to set in, you choose to release whatever resentment you feel and move forward.
Holding on to anger or resentment hurts you more than your spouse. Do you ever feel your chest get heavy with emotions?
Acknowledge that you feel hurt and communicate this to your partner without blame. Allow them to explain their actions and apologize. Make a conscious effort to forgive your spouse.
Forgiveness is not a one-time act. As long as two people interact, there will always be minor offences. So forgiveness is continuous
Conclusion
Your marriage is a journey to perfection. Like Rome wasn’t built in a day, it will take time to build on your ideal marriage. What matters is the effort you put in daily to make your relationship work.
If you take each of these points and dedicate time to apply them consciously in your marriage, you will definitely notice the changes over time.
As a marriage counselor, I have helped couples get back on track like they just met through my 30-day Couples Reconnecting Challenge. Almost a thousand couples have been on this challenge and have shared positive transformations in their marriage.
Are you ready to join the July 30-Day Couples Reconnecting Challenge? Click this link to get started.
