Do you know that as a married couple, the health of your marriage affects you?
According to research, the healthier your marriage is, the less likely you are to have to see the doctor frequently.
Seeing how important our marriages are to our health; it has become important that we prioritize keeping it on a healthy scale. Yet, in my years of experience talking to couples, I have realized that most marriages end not because of outside influence, but by the very actions of the couples.
It is important we learn to protect our marriage because the enemy hates marriages because he knows that when two people are together of one mind, one accord and unity, they are going to be a menace to his agenda.
How then do you protect your marriage?
1. You Have to Protect Your Mind
You have to protect your mind from destroying your marriage. Everything we do comes from the heart.
Your heart is the emotional core that drives your relationships, including your marriage. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks so if you allow negative information to get into your mind about your spouse, about your marriage it is going to feed your heart. To protect your marriage, it is important you safeguard what goes in and out of your mind.
Negative thoughts are like fuels for negative actions. When your heart is filled with negative thoughts about your marriage, you are likely to open it to outside interference.
Your heart is a ground, the seed is going to germinate and you will start to see the harvest in your marriage. Who are the people that are speaking to you about your marriage? What are you listening to? What are the thoughts that come to your mind about your spouse?
As a man thinks so is he, if you continue to think negatively about your spouse, you will act negatively.
Ultimately, negative emotions can create a toxic environment that even affects your children’s and your family’s well-being. Remember that Bible scripture that says:
“ Whatsoever “Finally, believers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable and worthy of respect, whatever is right and confirmed by God’s word, whatever is pure and wholesome, whatever is lovely and brings peace, whatever is admirable and of good repute; if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think continually on these things [center your mind on them, and implant them in your heart].”
Philippians 4:8 AMP. If you want to have a great marriage, you must be conscious of your thoughts about your marriage and towards your spouse
2. You Have to Protect Your Mouth
You have to watch what you say in your marriage. Some of you have to go back and un-say some of the things you have said to your spouse. Some of you have to go and counter-say some of the things you have said to your spouse because when you have said those words to your spouse, those words are seeds, they have now grown in the heart of your spouse and they are producing a harvest in your marriage.
Your words are incredibly powerful tools in your marriage. They can either build, tear down, nurture or wound. You must be mindful of what you say and how your words can affect your spouse and your relationship.
Think of words like eggs. When they are not broken, they can be fried, boiled or toasted. But when you break the egg, you cannot revert it to the shell.
When you let out negative or harsh words, you cannot take them back. Yes, you may apologize and your partner may forgive you. But the impact of the words spoken may linger in their heart for a while.
Before you speak, it is important to ask yourself “Is this true? Is it edifying? Does it have to be said now? If the roles were reversed, how would I feel?” The words you speak can sow seeds of resentment, doubt and pain, or joy, hope and desire.
You cannot plant an orange seed and expect to harvest an apple. With your mouth, you can either protect or destroy your marriage. Positive words such as words of love, appreciation, and support can protect your marriage. You can even correct in love. The Bible tells us a gentle answer turns away wrath.
The words you say are not just words- You can use your words to give something life and at the same time destroy it.
3. You Have to Protect your Intimacy
You have to make sure that as a couple, you are taking time to tend to the connection you share. Bonds can break when you stop doing the things you used to do before to keep it alive.
Your marriage is largely dependent on how connected you and your spouse are. Like a beautiful garden constantly requires attention and care, so does your marriage. Failing to tend to the emotional connection you share with your partner is leaving your marriage open to external intruders.
The funny thing about emotional disconnect is that it happens subtly and slowly. From one unresolved issue swept under the carpet to another and before you know it, you are wondering where what you felt for your partner went to.
To nurture the intimacy in your marriage, prioritize spending quality time together. The more quality time you spend together, the more you tend to your emotional intimacy together.
Regular physical touch, deep conversations, playing and sharing jokes together will strengthen your emotional bond. When you protect the intimacy you have, you are less likely to be tempted to have an affair.
One of the reasons why affairs happen is linked to a disconnect in the marital relationship.
If you are wondering how to spend better time with your spouse, here are 60 fun games and intimate bonding activities for couples.
In Summary
What we don’t protect, we lose. Protecting a marriage is a daily responsibility between the two couples.
It’s not enough to be in a marriage, you must ensure that you are both actively protecting the love that you share. It’s okay to seek professional help if you feel stuck.
