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Choosing a Life Partner: 4 Ways to Know You May Have Found The Right Person to Marry

Choosing a Life Partner: 4 Ways to Know You May Have Found The Right Person to Marry

Deciding whether someone is the right person to marry is one of the biggest life decisions you will make as a single person.

Sometimes, we focus on minor details such as preferences, looks and superficial qualities, that may seem important in the moment but in the long run, they do not determine the success of your marriage. 

These four qualities I’m going to talk about are core essentials that truly form the backbone of any meaningful relationship. When these key elements are in place, then you know you have found the right partner to build with.

What are these 4 ways to know you may have found the right person to marry?

1. There’s alignment of values and agreement

Your values align, and you are both in agreement about beliefs, major fundamental areas of life, and how life should be lived in general.

Ruth Esumeh

When your values align with someone, it is a litmus test for determining whether you are compatible with that person for a long-term relationship. Sharing the same beliefs and views on life is more than just having similar interests; it is sharing beliefs on the same values that will serve as the foundation for your marriage.

Your beliefs and values shape who you are as a person. It influences how you make decisions, and goals and even interact with people around you. For example, if you do not buy the idea of polygamy, you won’t be looking for a long-term relationship with someone who wants a polygamous marriage.

There are certain “big questions” that often come with marriage. These include how you view family relationships, your career aspirations, what you consider important values for you and so on.

When you find someone who is on the same page as you or willing to be, it’s a sign that you’re compatible as a couple. As your core beliefs align, even while dating, it will strengthen the trust you have in each other, which is a requirement for a stable marriage.

2. You Both Share the same Spiritual Beliefs and Conviction

You both love God and are submitted to his word. You encourage each other to obey God’s word and serve him.

Earlier, I talked about shared beliefs. When you are with someone who shares your deep love for God and is committed to him, that’s a sign that you may have found the one.

If your relationship is both rooted in the same principles of faith and purpose, then that’s a good sign. In addition, this mutual devotion you share for God will impact on your relationship. It was John Wick who said, “How you do anything is how you do everything.” If you are committed to God, you can (should) be committed to each other in the long run.

3. There’s reciprocity and commitment to make the relationship work

You are both committed to the relationship and there’s reciprocity of time and effort.

Many times, I see singles stay in a relationship where the energy just doesn’t feel right. You can’t be giving your all and the other person is only pulling a quarter of their weight.

No matter how much they say they love you and want to be with you, actions are what you need to focus on. You’ll know someone who is as invested as you are by the amount of time and effort they put into creating a fulfilled, balanced relationship.

Reciprocation is key to a strong relationship. This means that you are both putting in consistent effort to keep the relationship healthy and vibrant through open communication, quality time and thoughtful gestures.

There’s a balanced give-and-take where you both feel appreciated, valued and respected. Now, this isn’t something that happens overnight. But you can tell if they are the right person by how willing they are to make these healthy actions happen overtime.

4. There’s mutual attraction and respect for each other 

You respect each other and are attracted to each other. There’s a feeling of mutual attraction between you.

A relationship built on respect, not just for one another but also for your feelings, views and opinions, is a sign that you are ready to be with that person. If you hold someone in high regard, you will not take actions that will hurt them or bring them shame.

On the other hand, sharing mutual attraction with your partner means that spark that keeps the relationship lively and enjoyable. It doesn’t have to be just physical appearance, it also includes being drawn to each other’s character, intelligence, humour and sense of wits.

If you’re only attracted to their physical qualities, what happens when the beauty fades away and old age creeps in?

Together, respect and attraction are like two forces working together. Respect increases the emotional bond you share and attraction keeps the relationship fresh and fun.

Wrapping Up

Choosing or finding the right person to marry often starts with sharing similar values and beliefs. With a shared outlook on life, it reduces the potential of conflicts happening and ensures that you are moving in the same direction as partners.

It is equally important that you are both committed and respectful towards each other.

If you need help choosing the right person as a single, book a one-hour relationship clarity session with me today.

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Ruth Esumeh

Ruth Esumeh is the founder of Ruth’s Marriage, a marriage counseling and relationship coaching company. She is a Certified Marriage Counselor and Therapist helping couples enjoy marriage, God’s way! Follow Ruth on all social media platforms.

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Confidentiality Policy

1. Introduction

At Ruth’s Marriage, we are committed to providing a safe and confidential environment for our clients. This confidentiality policy outlines how we handle your personal information and the limits to confidentiality that may apply during the course of marriage counseling sessions.

2. Confidentiality Assurance

2.1 Client-Counselor Privilege: All information shared during marriage counseling sessions is confidential. This means that your counselor will not disclose any information without your explicit written consent, except as required by law or ethical standards (see section 3).

2.3 Protection of Records: Client records, including session notes, assessments, and any other documentation, will be securely stored and only accessible to authorized personnel as outlined in section 4.

3. Limits to Confidentiality

3.1 Domestic Abuse or Physical Abuse: If there is reasonable report of
physical abuse, we are legally obligated to inform the victim to report this to the appropriate authorities.

3.2 Threats of Harm: If you pose a serious threat of harm to yourself or others, we may need to take steps to ensure safety, which may include disclosing relevant information to appropriate parties, such as law enforcement or medical professionals.

3.3 Court Orders: If a court orders the release of your counseling records, we may be required to comply with such an order.

3.4 Supervision and Consultation: Your counselor may consult with other mental health professionals for supervision and training purposes. In such cases, your identity will be kept confidential.

4. Access to Client Information

4.1 Authorized Personnel: Only authorized personnel, including your
counselor, and administrative staff, of Ruth’s Marriage will have access
to your information.

4.2 Security Measures: We take all reasonable measures to protect your
personal information, both in paper and electronic formats, from unauthorized access, disclosure, or alteration.

5. Client Consent

Before any disclosure beyond the limits outlined in this policy is made, we will seek your explicit written consent, explaining the purpose and recipients of the information to be disclosed.

6. Record Retention

Client records will be retained for a period determined by applicable laws and ethical standards. After the retention period expires, records will be securely destroyed.

7. Questions and Concerns

If you have any questions or concerns about our confidentiality policy, please feel free to discuss them with your counselor or write us at ruthsmarriage:gmail.com

8. Policy Updates

We may update this confidentiality policy from time to time to reflect changes in laws, regulations, or our counseling practices. You will be notified of any significant changes.

Cancellation Policy

$50 fee (converted to your currency rate at the point of payment)
CANCELLATIONS AND MISSED APPOINTMENTS

The client is expected to arrive on time for each booked session. A cancelled or postponed appointment slows down our work and might have a negative influence on other clients. Because your appointments include the reserve of time expressly for you, and out of mutual respect for each other and our other clients, postponing or cancelling an appointment requires a minimum of 24 hours’ notice in advance.

WHEN THE NO-SHOW/LATE CANCEL FEE IS WAIVED

This means if your appointment is supposed to be 9am on Wednesday and you wish to cancel, we expect to have received your email by 9am on Tuesday, then we can waive the cancellation fee. If we receive your cancellation later than that, then you will be charged the cancellation fee to have another appointment. Note that if your appointment is on a Monday, the cancellation needs to be provided no later than the prior Friday, by your appointment time, to be considered proper 24-hour notice.

If you can, we would appreciate more than 24-hour notice so that we can make that time available to other clients.

As a result, if you find out before the mandatory 24-hour notice that you will be unable to attend our session, please send an email so that we can fill your slot and place another client in your space who may require it. Counseling appointments are designated exclusively for our clients and are booked in advance. We are unable to cover this time slot by providing it to another client when a session is canceled without adequate notice. The email to send a cancellation notification to is ruthsmarriage@gmail.com

WHEN THE NO-SHOW/LATE CANCEL FEE IS WAIVED

This cancellation policy is only waived in the event of a serious sickness or emergency. Car accidents, family deaths, and severe illness are all examples of emergencies. In this case, if you are not physically able to cancel your appointment, you can get someone to write us an email on your behalf. Our cancellation policy applies even if the missed appointment was unintended. Work-related issues are not emergencies.

Late Cancellation Fees Process: Any session missed due to a cancellation less than 24 hours in advance will be assessed at $50/standard fee. You will be charged even if the cancellation was due to work or if you rescheduled the appointment without adequate notice. We will send you a payment link immediately to pay the cancellation fee before you can have another appointment or continue your sessions.

WAIT TIME GRACE PERIOD

Your wait time is kept to a minimum. Due to the length of time provided for each appointment, it is critical that you arrive on time for your appointments. If you are more than 10 minutes late to your appointment, we will have no choice but to reschedule your appointment and you will be responsible for the $50 fee of a no show. To avoid paying no show fees, we require at least twenty-four (24) hours’ notice for all cancellations (as described above). Both counselor and client have a grace period of 10 minutes.

RECURRING SESSIONS: CANCELLATION FEE PAYMENT ENFORCEMENT

For recurring therapy/counselling sessions, when you miss a session without adequate notice, you will pay the cancellation fee of $50 for that session, before another session. The same standard above applies for each session.

Ruth’s Marriage Counselling Services sends automated email reminders of forthcoming appointments as a courtesy. Whether or not you receive the text or email reminder, it is your sole duty to keep track of and attend any planned appointments/sessions on time. If your phone number or email address changes, please notify us via email.

We appreciate your understanding and our policy is hinged on the fact that a late cancel or no-show hurts at least three people: you, the counsellor, and another client who could have potentially utilized your time slot

THANK YOU

We value you and are committed to your journey, however, we can only accomplish this with your understanding of the obligations set forth in this policy. Time is of the essence in our practice and we encourage good use of time to accommodate more clients who need help. Thank you

Making a booking means you have accepted the terms guiding our Cancellation Policy.

I agree to the Confidentiality Policy and Cancellation Policy.

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